Think about your best friend. Got them? And how much do you know about them? A lot right, so you know what means the most to them? You know what would break their heart if they lost? I’m not talking about the new guy she met a few weeks ago, I mean something more than that. Something that makes her feel something she can’t express rationally in words, something you KNOW matters above all other things.

Now imagine if she had that ripped away from her.

Now imagine you tell her she deserves this. That its her fault. You’ve told her this because you got into an argument, about a topic completely unrelated. You said it to hurt her, because, you knew above everything else, insulting her choice in clothes or men, critcising her appearance.. you knew THIS would hurt in a way nothing else could.

I know everyone’s had arguments with friends, be them full blown row, or merely a heated discussion. It happens, we’re girls, it goes with the territory, but eventaully, after a little bit of time, we get over it and all move on.

How is it possible to move on from the gut wrenching betrayal of your best friend using something you trusted them with, against you?

Simply?

Goodbye.

hannahchusidillustrations:

In honor of Nicki Minaj’s win (and outrageous outfit) at the VMAs. 

**THIS CAN BE PRINTED BY REQUEST—SEE MY BLOG FOR DETAILS**

The ‘Eternal Single Girl’.

You all know her. She might be one of your close friends, might be in your office, or you know her from the gym.  The girl who no matter what, is always single, not necessarily alone… but won’t be changing to “in a relationship” anytime soon.  For all my friends? That girl is me.

People comment. Those closest to me know it’s got more to do with ‘the kill’ than with anything else… but those who aren’t so close. They have judgement written all over their faces. Maybe she’s complicated? Maybe she’s difficult? Gay? A loner? And you can gaurentee that these people are always the ‘relationship hoppers’. As with the eternal single, you all know one of these too… the girl thats got her next boyfriend lined up before this relationships over…

For us ‘Eternal Girls’ the most gratifying feeling in the world, is when you’re ‘Hopper’ acquaintance has a tequila too many and the ‘perfect relationship’ facade slips…

Though what I’m saying is comforting, and consoling at 3am, all I can really think, is “How glad am I, not to have to cart home the boy with his face in the gutter, and who’s shouting obnoxiously.” “How glad am I that I get to walk away from all this, and go back to my bed.”

And just because you don’t know, who’s to say I’ll be sleeping alone…?

Eternal Single, no. We’re too busy chasing to ever be tied down. Once their ours? They’re no longer as interesting as they once were… Next.

What makes an amazing song? Who decides that any some becomes an anthem? Did a committee sit down and decide songs like “Unbreak my Heart”, “I Will Always Love You” and “My Heart Will Go On” will be heard forever.

If so, can we nominate songs for this accolade? If so, here’s my nomination of the decade.

I heard that your settled down.

That you found a girl and your married now.

I heard that your dreams came true.

Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you.

Old friend why are you so shy?

It ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the lie.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.

But I couldn’t stay away I couldn’t fight it.

I’d hoped you’d see my face & that you’d be reminded

That for me it isn’t over.

Nevermind I’ll find someone like you.

I wish nothing but the best for you too.

Don’t forget me I beg I remember you said:-

“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead yeah.

You’d know how the time flies.

Only yesterday was the time of our lives.

We were born and raised in a summery haze.

Bound by the surprise of our glory days.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn’t stay away I couldn’t fight it.

I’d hoped you’d see my face & that you’d be reminded

That for me it isn’t over yet.

Nevermind I’ll find someone like you.

I wish nothing but the best for you too.

Don’t forget me I beg I remember you said:-

“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead” yay.

Nothing compares no worries or cares.

Regret’s and mistakes they’re memories made.

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind I’ll find someone like you.

I wish nothing but the best for you too.

Don’t forget me I beg I remembered you said:-

“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”

Nevermind I’ll find someone like you.

I wish nothing but the best for you too.

Don’t forget me I beg I remembered you said:-

“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead yay yeh yeah

Adele, the shivers down my spine are all your fault.

Thank you.

(Lyrics provided by http://www.kovideo.net/)

Dearest_____,

I want you to know this very important thing and remember it always. Know that it is true, and that it’s not only encouragement because I love you. 

You are amazing. A breathtaking beauty. I see your energy, your love and creativity. I listen to your ideas for the world, for your friends and for yourself, and I see how excited and fearless you are when you share them. You are sensitive, intuitive, and compassionate. So beautiful. You know things, important things that could benefit the world. 
The problem is, society is going to try to diminish you. It will tell you that your power is in being really skinny. This is a lie. It will tell you your power and lovability is in being sexy. This is also a lie. It will tell you that your body, not your heart or brain is all the use it has for you. That to be lovable your bones must stick out and your thighs must not touch. Lies. 

If you believe these lies you will spend precious time and energy trying to deliver. Don’t waste your time and energy. It will never work. Even when people say, “Wow you look so good, did you lose weight?” it is only temporary, and inside you’ll worry that you’re not enough, normally, and you’ll worry about gaining even an ounce. If you starve yourself, even though it feels like you’re in control, you will lose your hair, your period, your energy, and your gorgeous vitality. You will be filled with fear 24/7. Find a trustworthy place to express your feelings instead. 

If you binge and purge you will become bloated, your breath will smell, you’ll destroy your stomach and possibly grow hair on your face. You are not expressing feelings you have. Get the real feelings out, then you won’t want to do it silently as harm to yourself. 

If you look at yourself in disgust, it is because you have been told lies. You are not alone, millions of women before you have stood at the mirror and cringed. But millions of women have chosen self love and esteem. As hard as it seems at first, it is possible. 

I wish with all my heart for you to commit to loving yourself. I was a young woman in Hollywood, and believe me, if I can love myself here, you can love yourself anywhere. 

Here are some things that worked for me:

1) Seek a counselor, teacher, friends, or group, in person or online where you’ll be supported by sane, caring people who also are refusing society’s lies and are reclaiming their power and true beauty.

2) Every time you see something showing women as too skinny or blatantly sexualized, take a deep breath and say to yourself “That’s a lie. I choose me.”

3) Read Geneen Roth Books like When Food is Love. www.geneenroth.com

4) Start meditating. Even 5 minutes a day spending time being aware of your breath will put you in touch with your feelings. http://www.sharonsalzberg.com

5) Start to become active in what you love DOING. People admire action, courage and real happiness far more than they admire a size 2.

6) Ask yourself if it is your body, mind or heart that is hungry. Your mind and heart need nourishment other than food.

7) Spend time with people who support you, not people who hurt you.

I love you. The world needs you.

Daphne

When asked to write an article on who most inspired me, I started thinking…

When I feel like I’m falling, and need some inspiration, there are a few people I look too. If I need to feel better, that person might be my dad, the man who helps me out of every situation imaginable, who loves me unconditional, and compared to whom, no man will ever be good enough.  If I am, however, simply looking for someone to inspire my life, make me feel like nothing is impossible, I look to Kathryn Faith Jensen.  Now I may not know much about her life, sure, I know the basics, her relationships, her family, her dog.  But I know of how those people make her feel.  What I do know about Kathryn Jensen, is that she is brave, she is courageous, and she is a leader. 

I first met Kathryn in 2007, when I did the bravest thing I’ve ever done, and went to America to work in a summer camp for the season. On meeting Kathryn, and having known her now for four years, I realise that the bravest thing I’ve ever done, was merely a walk in the park for her.  Kathryn is a graduate from Columbia, has lived in Beijing and Taiwan, studying and becoming the most influential person in my life. It may seem weird that she has such an effect on me, but through reading her blogs and watching her over the summers we spend together, it becomes clear for everyone to see, that she is, without a shadow of a doubt, the smartest person I am ever likely to meet.

Seeing Kathryn be who she is, each and every day, inspires me.  It inspires me to be the best that I can be, to be the smartest that I can be, and to never shy away from a challenge.  On meeting Kathryn, most people don’t believe her age, because she has the air of someone a good few years older at least, she is accomplished, she is driven, and nothing can beat her.  Upon returning from her Chinese education, she has enrolled for her Grad school at no other than America’s prestigious Brown University.  What path Kathryn takes in her life, fails to be seen at this time, however, she can know, in safe knowledge, she has inspired me.  Kathryn has motivated me to be the best that I can be, by merely being who she is. Amazing? Yes, Wonderful? Maybe, Inspiring? Absolutely.